Much to Give Thanks For!

 As I already shared with some of you the other day, I had the ultrasound and things did look better than last time. Though it wasn't all normal  yet, the doctor didn't seem nearly as concerned now and we just left with a much better feeling. We still won't know the outcome of things, but whoever does? Getting better news I believe is God's way of meeting our needs for this time.  He provided our needs in a more than one way that day!
 Going to London so often gets expensive. Even just parking was  $10.00 again and then there is always gas yet. This was one of those times where we were short on money but hoped what we had would be enough. as we were driving Art all of a suddenly sees an envelope with our name on it and found $100.00 inside with a very sweet note! I was amazed at the way God had provided beyond what I could have hoped for! Enough for parking, gas for the whole week, and a bite to eat. (which I desperately needed after sitting at the hospital for 4 hours!) May God bless the givers for that!  The couple who left it for us, (she)had a drive test appointment the same day and just (texted me) asked if I would pray that God would help her with that. I prayed that God would help her to not be nervous through it and that the person taking her would also be merciful :) I am pleased to report that she passed her test and she said she had not felt nervous like last time and also the lady had been very relaxed about everything hardly marking anything down!  God answers prayers in all kinds of ways!
 I've been very tired for the rest of this week and somedays just can't seem to do what I think I need to do, but I am so very thankful! It all continues to work out! I'm thankful for family and friends; for all the prayers! So thankful for our kids.. they continue to amaze me with their willingness to help out. And so very thankful for Art, who is going through these things too but has been very supportive to me and caring!  He has been spending like all his time with us or at work and checks in on us during his breaks from work often now and it means a lot! 

Getting Back Up!

I write about faith and trusting God, but I also have to be honest and tell you I go through times where I crash and don't want to go doing what is right by having faith.

 Yesterday was one of those days.   As a church (being with Jesse's family) I think many had the same feelings on Saturday, from different view points. God unites us that was. As Romans 12:15-16 says, Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.  Be of the same mind toward one another.
By the time the day was done, I had mixed thought and feelings about a lot of things and I wasn't sure how to keep looking up and I went to sleep with that feeling. My thoughts went back to our own baby that night as well and on what could be coming.   Didn't think I'd go to church the next day. I prayed for God to wake me up in the morning with fresh hope. 
Wouldn't you know it, that is what he did. Not new hope where I felt better and wanted to go to church, but new hope where I wanted to go on and seek Him in all things giving thanks.
My brother Aaron was preaching and it was on prayer, and having faith. And he himself was trying to understand these things. I think many of us are going through a time where we are trying to figure this out but together we will go on trusting. The message was based on Matthew 21:22 And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.

My heart starting pounding so hard the moment he started talking and did right through church. These verses are true in a way beyond our understanding very often but we need to remind ourselves our trials are for good, and being a christian doesn't mean we won't go through pain and we will just get whatever we want.

James 1:2-4 Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

God is working in our lives. We have been going through a lesson on holiness and trials can bring us closer to that , if we allow that instead of bitterness.

Yes, I do hope the dr. is wrong about our baby's condition or do desire healing. But maybe I just need to say where you go Lord there I go and I give myself as a living sacrafice. I will accept your will. I am too weak to continue with that mindset in the slightest, so help me Lord!

 His ways are higher than mine and he sees the bigger picture.

Fast Growing Weeds

A negative thought is like a fast growing vine or more like an ugly weed. It very quickly spreads into many areas, and this is what I have done these last few weeks. It started with me feeling like I couldn’t keep up with everything that was going on. Felt like there was just too much to take care of. I could go into all the details and come up with a bunch of reasons why I felt like this, but I’m not going to do that, because the fact is God’s grace is always sufficient and somewhere in there, this was my own fault, and God had a better way for me then what I was taking. With negative thinking, it’s funny what it can do… A little self pity and suddenly you have a huge unwanted weed!
So I’m thinking, this is all too much, then I start thinking it’s not fair! Oh, AND then wait a minute…My husband should do this and that and the this and maybe this…..(oh,I could give him a long to do list ) Do you see how this could grow into bitterness towards him and well anyone else who isn’t doing things according to MY list. I know! As I’m writing, I’m thinking what kind of a woman would be like that…Oh ya me. Well, this weed started to go into other areas as well. I started to think well it’s not like anyone else cares either. The only reason people talk to me is because, I always make the start. You see how one thing led to another? I think I was beginning to believe some lies here and being ungrateful for God’s many blessings.
Well, I needed to get down on my knees and ask God for forgiveness for my attitude and not being thankful in all things. I needed to let Art (Hubby) know that I had been wrong and ask him to forgive me. God changed my thoughts and feelings as soon as I repented.
Then my eyes were opened again to all the things I needed to thank God for. Art goes to work in an over heated paint booth everyday for his family, he is always the one to clean our van, yesterday he cleaned up all th junk in our basement, he cleaned the pool for the kids.(and he does all these things without me asking him to) I started to feel bad because I saw he was doing way more then I deserve. The greatest blessing of all is he often reads and prays with the kids now. He is always telling me he loves me and makes me feel like I’m worth so much to him. God has done so much in both our lives! I know! How could I ever complain! It’s embarrassing to think about it now!
Then as for other people go, I have received a number of calls and an email this week from friends just checking in to see if Kati-Lyn is okay now (she was sick) I have a mom who is always there and a dad whom I talk to more now then ever. Many sisters and sister -in- laws who do care. Also thankful for my prayer sister I have now who also really brightened my day. Thank s to the people who pray for me even though I don’t always know it So all around I just needed to be thankful and apologize for not weeding this garden.
I am so grateful for the mercy and forgiveness and grace God has for us if we as!

O what a wonderful, wonderful day- day I will never forget;
After I’d wondered in darkness away, Jesus my savior I met!

Family Devotions

We have been going through Step into the Bible by Ruth Graham. We started to do family devotions first thing in the morning now...well right after breakfast. It seems like after beakfast works better because the kids are more ready to listen. This book has a story, bible verses to read and verses to memorize and questions to ask. Then we also have a time of prayer. I have noticed that it makes such a big difference in everyones day, and I really want to keep it up... I pray that we will. I am grateful that God has made this possible for us, so I don't want to take it for granted!

A Prayer

I wrote this poem before Jamie was born, on the day I found out he had a heart defect. We had lost a baby about 7 months earlier. Him and Jamie are 11 months apart.

Dear Lord, I am asking thee
don't take away what you've given me
I have grown to close to lose him now

to bare it again, I don't know how

He would be in the best of care, I agree

but all the pain and sorrow that would be

I am not strong enough to get by it again

For whatever is to come I will need your hand

I do not know what you have in store for me

But I want to put my faith in thee.

Just give me directions until I reach your gate

where sorrow is no more, love is only; no hate

This is my prayer tonight to you

All this I am sure you already knew

I'm thankful though you listened to all I said

To you I have let out all thought I've had

written January 15th, 1997

©Nancy Wall